I love you much (most beautiful darling)
More than anyone on the earth and i
Like you better than everything in the sky
-sunlight and singin welcome your coming
Although winter may be everywhere
With such a silence and such a darkness
Noone can quite begin to guess
(except my life) the true time of year-
And if what calls itself a world should have
The luck to hear such singing (or glimpse such
Sunlight as will leap higher than high
Through gayer than gayest someone’s hear at your each
Nearness) everyone certainly would (my
Most beautiful darling) believe in nothing but love
Poetic Response:
Reading “i love you much (most beautiful) darling” I was impressed with the use of paranthesis throughout the poem. Instead of creating an effect where they distracted me as a reader, they actually made the poem read more gracefully. Even though parenthesis usually indicate that whatever is enclosed is less important than surroudning text, in this poem they served as insertions of meangingful text that were essential to both the flow of the poem and the significance of it. In my response I attempted to use the parenthesis the same way. In most parts of the poem I employ the parenthesis with short phrases but similarly to the original there’s a part where I break what is inside the parenthesis with two separate stanzas. The content of my poem simply echoes the original poem as well; the love a being feels for another.
i love you more (my dearest lover)
the scent of grace
the color of beauty
darling (my most beautiful darling)
none other can compare to you
my love, my man, my lust, my king
a manifestation of my dreams
i love you more (my dearest lover
i love at your command), drunken and happy
holding myself for fear that i...
might awake and discovering ive been wandering
lost in the depths of my imagination
-a mix of passion and fidelity
(my dearest lover) you’re all together complete
and as the morning melts the night
we are lovers for all eternity
loving each other to a mysterious dimension
where love anad death are interchangeable
now, breathing the same breaths
and dreaming the same dreams
(my dearest lover) i love you more
1 comment:
I love the way in which you took the structure of the original poem seriously and then beautifully wrote a poem that follows the same structure and regarding a similar subject. I thought your poem was awesome, it flows very smoothly but yet it conveys an idea of owenership and possession. It is very compelling and seductive poem. Great JOB MAYRA!!!!
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